Women Who Love Psychopaths
Inside the Relationships of
Inevitable Harm
Women Who Love Psychopaths
Women Who Love

Shortly after the release of Just Like His Father? Dr. Leedom received countless letters from women detailing the trauma they suffered at the hands of their child's father. She realized that in order for these women to mother their chidren they had to heal. She teamed up with Sandra L. Brown, M.A. of the Safe Relationships Institute and together they produced the ground breaking new book Women Who Love Psychopaths Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm.

Just Like His Father?

Liane J. Leedom, M.D. psychiatrist and author of Just Like His Father? warns, “Your at-risk child’s needs may be different from those of other children.”

A commitment to educate parents about the needs of at risk children, began when Dr. Leedom realized that her son is at risk.  For three years she poured through masses of scientific literature to gain the tools she needed to care for her own son.

She says “Although the government has spent millions uncovering the genetic and environmental factors involved in antisocial behavior, addiction and ADHD, the findings of this work are not available to the public.” She believes, “We all have a right to the information that will help us protect and enjoy our at-risk children.”

Dr. Leedom has packaged this information in an easy to read book. We offer the book and together with an eWorkbook for only $17.95. The cost of the books and your time to read them are tiny in comparison to the personal and financial costs of a child, teen or adult with antisocial behavior or addiction!

Get Just Like His Father? and the Child Well-Being eWorkbook together for only $17.95.

Get Women Who Love Psychopaths, Just Like His Father? and The Child Well-Being Workbook (ecopy) for only $34.95
Women Who Love Psychopaths will help you:
1. Understand why you got into that relationship.
2. Heal from that emotional trauma.
3. Live a more peaceful life while mothering your child(ren).

Important Links:
Parenting the At Risk Child
Safe Relationships
Fit and Smart

Do you keep getting hurt in relationships?

Do you keep picking the wrong kind of guy?

Are you struggling to heal from a bad relationship?

Perhaps YOU are one of the millions of women who love psychopathic men!

We all want to share life with the right man. The problem is that psychopathic personality traits are found in many men. Men with these personality traits hide them from women until they have them "hooked." Yes, psychopaths are not just serial killers. Psychopaths are people who are driven by an excessive need for dominance, power, control and sex. The sex and power drives cause men to ignore any empathy and guilt they feel and to exploit women to fulfill their needs.

The worst part of all this is that psychopathic men pick a certain type of woman to victimize! In ground breaking research we discovered the profile of the women psychopathic men pick. Because of their need for power and sex, these men don't pick women who are depressed and dysfunctional. They pick the best, brightest and sexiest women they can lure. That is why all women need to understand what psychopathic personality traits look like in men. They also need to understand how psychopathic men exploit a woman's best traits.

Women Who Love Psychopaths is written by Sandra L. Brown, M.A. and Liane J. Leedom, M.D.. These two women are the perfect combination to teach you how to aoid pathological men and to heal from a pathological relationship. Sandy is a therapist who has worked with victimized women for over 25 years. Dr. Leedom is a psychiatrist who herself was conned by a psychopathic man. Following her encounter with a psychopathic man, Dr. Leedom resolved to become a leading expert in this personality type. The insights she gained are astounding and are shared with you in Women Who Love Psychopaths!

Women Who Love Psychopaths
Table of Contents

The Unexamined Victim 1

Understanding the Names of Psychopathy 5
What’s in a name? 6
Not just your ordinary killer 7
Why are traits important? 8
How does a person “get” psychopathy? 9
What about counseling for a personality disorder? 11
Genetic factors that influence the development of a
personality disorder 12
Why don’t people with personality disorders get better? 13
More than mere personality function 13
The Traffic Signals of Personality 15
The “Go” light 15
Understanding the drives for food, comfort and possessions 16
Understanding the entertainment drive 16
Understanding the sex, affection, social dominance/
status/power drives 17
The sex drive 17
The affection drive 17
The social dominance drive 18
The “Stop” light 20
Recognizing extraversion 20
Psychopathic Hook-Ups 22
The Partner-Rated Assessment of Pathologic Men (PRA) 24
A Description of Their Men 26
Race and education 26
His occupation 26
His personality 28
Results of the PRA 28
His impulsivity 29
More on his addictions, substance abuse, arrest and violence record 29
How he sees others 30
His friendliness 31
His mental health 31
His other biological issues 32
His other women 33
His treatment of her family 33
His treatment of her when she was ill 34
The bottom line on personality traits and behavior 35

The Temperament of Women Who Love Psychopaths 37
Female Extraversion and Excitement Seeking 38
Excitement seeking and extraversion attraction as risk factors 41
Extravagance and Disorderliness 41
Extravagance and disorderliness as risk factors 42
Her Competitiveness 42
Competitiveness as a risk factor 42
Her Impulsiveness 43
Non-impulsivity as a risk factor 44
Extraversion and excitement seeking recap 44
Her Positive Sociability and Relationship Investment 45
Relationship investment and positive sociability as risk factors 47
Relationship Investment and Positive Sociability Traits Recap 48
Her Harm Avoidance Traits 49
High harm avoidance as a risk factor 50
Low harm avoidance as a risk factor 51
Harm Avoidance Traits Recap 52
Temperament Trait Conclusions 535.
The Three Categories of Character Traits 56
Her Cooperativeness 56
Cooperativeness as a risk factor 57
Her empathy 58
Liane J. Leedom, M.D. reflects on the development of empathy… 61
Empathy as a risk factor 61
Her tolerance 62
Tolerance as a risk factor 63
Her friendliness, compassion, supportiveness, and moral principles 64
Friendliness, compassion, supportiveness and moral principles as risk factors 65
Her trust 65
Trust as a risk factor 66
Her loyalty 67
Loyalty as a risk factor 67
Cooperativeness recap 68
Her Self-Directedness 68
Self-directedness as a risk factor 69
Her self-acceptance 70
Self-acceptance as a risk factor 70
Her goal congruent habits 71
Goal congruent habits as risk factors 71
Her Self-Transcendence and Spirituality 72
Self-transcendence and spirituality as risk factors 72
The Psychopath and His TCI Traits 73
Temperament traits of the psychopath and his women 74
Character traits of the psychopath and his women 75
Conclusions 75
Tested, taught & treated 76
Lastly the issue that is on most people’s minds…is she pathological too? 77

Just What Happens in Attraction? 79
Creating that Love Bond 80
Creating the anxiety bond 81
Creating a love/hate bond 81
Anxiety bonding 81
The Psychopath and Bonding 83
What is Sex with a Psychopath Like? 85
The Honeymoon “a Period of Harmony” 91
Methods He Used 92
The process of luring 92
Tapping into her empathy/compassion 93
Pacing and overwhelming 95
Chemistry 96
Communication, respect, interdependence, problem solving 98
Respect and truth 99
Accomplices 100
Conclusion 102
Hypnotic Trance 103
Do Psychopath’s Capitalize on Suggestibility? 108
Do psychopaths really do this on purpose 110
The Psychopath’s Stare 111
Healthy Relationships Work 113
Healthy relationship trait list 113
The Honeymoon is Over 114
The Psychopathic World View 115
The Only Motivator 117
The Dichotomies of a Pathological Love Relationship 117
What are the dichotomies? 119
The dichotomy of bonding and yet abandonment 120
The dichotomy of idealizing and yet devaluing her 121
The dichotomy of his perceived protection and yet created dependency 122
The dichotomy of the pursued Madonnaand yet the alleged whore 123
The dichotomy of trust and yet distrust 124
The dichotomy of excitement and yet exhaustion 125
The dichotomy of his child-like vulnerability and yet his adult mystique 127
The dichotomy of loving and yet loathing 128
Other Occurrences 128
One Woman’s Dichotomies 129
Dichotomies Summary 130
Word-Twisting: The Psychopath’s Use of Language 132
The Pain of Disengagement 142
Inevitable Harm: Every Woman Was Harmed 142
Liane J. Leedom, M.D. reflects on harm 143
Emotional and psychological harm 145
Financial and career harm 146
Physical harm 147
Sexual damage 148
Long term damage 149
What About The Children? 150
Rebecca’s Story 155
Christine’s Story 158
Lisa’s Story 159
Susan’s Story 161
Surveying the Aftermath 164
Comparison between Sociopathy and Psychopathy 170
Information and Resources… 171

Perhaps you had a child or children with a psychopathic man?

Did you know that alcoholism, addiction and ADHD are transmitted genetically by some of the same genes that transmit psychopathic personality traits. If you are raising a child whose father is psychopathic, alcoholic or sex addicted, your child is at risk! The job of preventing these disorders from manifesting in the next geneeration is yours. How can a pathological father help you? He can't in fact many pathological men are glad to see their child develop to be just like them.

Start today raising your son or daughter to overcome the genetic risk. Read Just Like His Father? A Guide to Overcoming Your Chlid's Genetic Connection to Antisocial Behavior, Addiction and ADHD.

Here's what child development experts are saying about Just Like His Father?

A Wonderful Parenting Guide (January 29, 2007).This is an excellent book for parents or potential parents of children at risk for ADHD, antisocial personality and addiction. It provides a comprehensive summary of the research demonstrating the genetic comonent involved in these issues. But, even more importantly, it provides practical, easy to understand guidelines for parenting your at risk child during the stages of infancy, early childhood, middle childhood and even during adolescence. The advice is based upon current, clearly explained academic research.

Dr. Leedom outlines a triangle, involving 3 key components: impulse control, moral reasoning and ability to love. These developmental tasks are inextricably linked such that impaired ability in one area, may lead to difficulty in another. Dr. Leedom describes how the genetically at risk child has vulnerability in these areas. But even more importantly, she clearly describes the steps that we can take to reduce vulnerability in our at risk children.

Dr. Leedom has written an engaging, authoritative book in simple, easy to follow language. She expertly weaves in her own personal experiences, which brings the book to life. This is a must read for thoughtful parents or potential parents of children who are at risk. As an Educator, Psychologist and Parent of an at risk child, I highly recommend this book.

Tracey E Ryan Ph.D.
University of Bridgeport

In the book Just Like His Father, Dr. Liane J. Leedom has done an excellent job of translating a vast amount of research into language that is easily understandable for parents of at-risk children.  As a result, Dr. Leedom leaves parents with the one thing they cannot do without…HOPE!  However, it is her personal sharing that lets us know she is more than just an expert in the field of child psychiatry.  She is also a parent who has faced many of the same challenges she describes in the book.  Just Like His Father is an excellent resource for parents and mental health professionals alike.

Jerry Wilde, Ph.D.
Author of Hot Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out: The Anger Management Book

Also available from The Parent's Store is The Child Well-Being Workbook. For only $3.00 you can receive an electronic copy of this Workbook which has parenting exercises and activities you can do with your child. We have kept the cost of these materials low, to get them to all parents who need them. To order Just Like His Father? and your ecopy of The Child Well-Being Workbook, click on the buy now button below.

Just Like His Father?
Table of Contents

Disaster Strikes 1
Children of Sorrow Children of Hope 4
In the Genes 6
The Prevention of a Disorder 10

Antisocial Personality Disorder and the Inner Triangle 13
Addiction and the Inner Triangle 20
ADHD and the Inner Triangle 22
Nature Verses Nurture 22

What Is Ability to Love? 24
Birth to 12 Months 32
How to Be More Responsive to Your Child 36
Things You Can Do to Enhance Your Baby’s Ability to Love 39
Things that Impair a Baby’s Ability to Love 39
Signs that the First Year Went Well 39
12-36 Months 40
The Terrible Twos 42
Basic Feeling States Your Toddler Should Understand 46
Things You Can Do to Enhance Your Toddler’s Ability to Love 48
Things that Impair a Toddler’s Ability to Love 48
Love Ability and Day-Care 48
Preschool, Ages 3-5 49
Things You Can Do to Enhance Your Preschooler’s Ability to Love 54
Things that Impair a Preschooler’s Ability to Love 56
How to Repair Your Relationship with Your Preschooler 57
The Elementary School Years- More Shared Experiences 59
Empathy– The Cornerstone of Ability to Love 61
Teach but Don’t Overwhelm Your Child 62
Clinical Depression in Mother or Father? 66
What to Do if Your Ten-Year-Old Has Difficulty Reading Others 67
Laughter Is Good Medicine, but Teasing Is Toxic 67
Things You Can Do to Enhance Your Child’s Ability to Love 68
Things that Impair a Child’s Ability to Love 68
How to Repair Your Relationship with Your Child 69
Middle School 70
Things You Can Do to Enhance Your Middle School Child’s Ability to Love 73
Things that Impair a Middle School Child’s Ability to Love 74
How to Repair Your Relationship with Your Middle School Child 74
Why Is It Important to Have a Close Relationshipwith Your Middle School Child? 75
Family Ties and Love Ability During the Teen Years 76
Things You Can Do to Enhance Your Teen’s Ability to Love 79
Things that Impair a Teen’s Ability to Love 79
How to Repair Your Relationship with Your Teen 80
Keeping the Lines of Communication Open 81
Guiding Your Child in the Midst of Tragedy 82
Mother and Father 84

What Are Impulses? 87
What Are Drives? 87
What Is Impulse Control? 88
Do You Have a Strong-Willed Child? 90
Training Impulse Control 91
Teaching Impulse Control to Preverbal Infants and Toddlers 92
Teaching Impulse Control by Using Rewards and Setting Limits 94
Practice Positive Parenting 96
Five Steps to Limit Setting 100
Types of Consequences 101
Limit Setting with Teens 102
Getting Results from Limit Setting 103
Impulsivity in Emotional Expression 104
Does Your Child Have a Hair-Trigger for Anger? 104
Temper Tantrums 107
Food, Comfort and Impulse Control 108
The Drive for Physical and Emotional Closeness 110
The Entertainment-Exploration Drive 110
Things that Help a Child with Attention and Concentration 118
How to Positively Shape Your Child’s Entertainment Drive 119
Things that Hamper a Good Work Ethic 119
Born Without Fear- the Thrill-Seekers 120
How to Manage Fears in a Child Who Is Relatively Fearless 124
Fearfulness, Conscience and Impulse Control 126
Aggression and the Drive for Social Dominance 127
What Is the Drive for Social Dominance? 127
Oppositional Defiant Disorder 129
Competent and Important 131
How to Remain Captain of The Ship
Even When the Crew Is Trying to Mutiny 133
About Cruelty and Violence 133
Parent Says, “Sometimes it seems my child
intentionally tries to provoke me!” 135
A Parent Says, “My child is a liar.” 136
About Low Self-Esteem 137
Acquiring Possessions 137
Sex 141
Summary of the Basic Drives 142
Balance in Pleasure 144
Organization and Time Management 145
He Can’t... or He Won’t? 146
Mood Disorders 147

Moral Reasoning Ability Is Unique to Humans 150
Guiding Your Child through the Phases of Moral Development 150
How to Prevent Disordered Moral Development 153
Temptation: A Useful Concept 155
The Importance of the Bond with Pasrent 157
Your Child, Your Helper 159
Respect 160
Impulse Control, Moral Values and Having Fun 162
Moral Values that Immunize Against Antisocial Personality Traits and Addiction 163
Moral Values Regarding the Self 163
Moral Values Regarding Others 164
Moral Values Regarding Society 165
Reaching for the Stars 165

Summary of Possible Genetically-Determined Inborn Qualities Important in Antisocial Personality
Disorder and Addiction 166
A Story with a Happy Ending 168
The Sides of the Inner Triangle 169
The Points of the Inner Triangle 171
Environmentally-Induced Antisocial Personality Disorder 173
The Other Side of the Coin 174
Illness or Evil? 175

How Does Addiction Happen? 177
If Alcohol Abuse Is in Your Child’s Genes 179
A Path Into Addiction 180
Recovery 182
Predicting Recovery in Teens 183

Can ADHD be prevented? 186
Are all children with ADHD similar? 187
My child has ADHD. How can I tell if
he is receiving the appropriate treatment? 187
My child has ADHD. How can I keep
him physically safe? 188
My child has ADHD. How can I help him socially? 188
My child has ADHD. How can I help him academically? 190
My child has ADHD. Will medication
further increase his risk for addiction? 191
My child has ADHD. Is he at increased risk
for Antisocial Personality Disorder? 192

Does the Inner Triangle Affect Parenting Ability? 194
Parenting Styles and Outcome for Children 197
Caretaking and Avoiding Servitude 198
About Yelling and Spanking 200
Provoking Anger 201
The Blame Game 203

Am I too late? 206
Is it really possible to overcome inborn temperament? 206
I just want my child to be happy. Is there anything wrong
with that? 207
My child is so oppositional,
I can’t stand being around him. What do I do? 208
What about diet and allergies? 208
My child’s other parent who is an addict or has antisocial
personality wants to see him. What do I do? 209
My child only seems to care for his friends. What do I do? 210
There seem to be no nice friends for my child in our neighborhood. What do I do? 210
I have a loving relationship with my child and he is still bossy and has poor impulse control.
What do I do? 210
My child treats me with disrespect. What do I do? 211
How do I teach my child to handle the aggression other children may direct toward him? 212





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